"light shines above me, darkness sheds to light"

the best part about waking in the wayyy AM (2:30am) is being able to come outside when everyone's asleep and sit to feel a unanticipated warm breezy wind storm-like environment. This makes me happy... to be able to be alone with this kind of weather, or these kinds of weathers i should say (i love overcast too!). this is where i get my most creative mind. Aside from not having everything i need to produce everything, im trying my best to keep it current in my head; keep it playin ya know?

This is weird... im hearing Geese in the distance...... at 2:55am? hmm lol. I also smell as if someone left a fire to burn. That campfire smell!!! LOVE iT! since when did my mood become part of the world? oh yeah and earlier me and mom were sitting outside, and i was shooting a little for the video, with a ciggy shot! ha and then i we went in but i sware i left em outside. They were in a plastic bag and i think the wind took them away ;[. So i think im gonna go to the smoke shop today haha! this time i'll get a cigar too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, anyways... you now know that i have issues with my label and obviously im not getting anywhere with that. I really wanna release everything myself, but all im hearing is blah blah blah from there about nonsence or them doudging everything! URGH. but it's this step by step thing that we're doing... it's gonna better everything. dude, i got this letter in the mail saying i would get kicked out of school if i don't "comply" consistantly within 3 months. If i get kicked out... i sware i will be out completely. But now i know i can't mess up for 3 months haha.

i've been thinking over and over about having someone in my life. I mean, just the thought of having someone? iono, i've been having dreams here and there about friends or random people i've never met who i've swore i've known forever haha. Then i wake up and find myself alone (so emo) lol no but it doesn't nessasarily effect me the way that i may thought it would. I'm just craving something TOTALLY new. as you can see i have already changed my hair ---------------------------------------------------->>

but im needing something else!!!! economy is infectious! and i hate it! i should not happen! lol ugh and today is school time and im not stoping at nothing except getting it done! i can't afford to not have school (well, yes i can) but iono i like my school computer! lol. See... just this moment i had a very nice beat in my head ready to lay down. unfortunately i have nothing to pull it out with... thus making it hard to make a song. ahh it's getting a little cold and i think im gonna go back to sleep until everyone starts waking up, cuz i can't be tired today!!

what's the opposite of relaxing on a beach in a chair under the sun,
but with the same feeling of happiness and/or relaxation?
jairemie