When I Think... The Weather Wants To Change

Here i am sitting again. I told myself not to get my hopes up so soon about everything... i know that i don't, but this one show i did. lol thank God it's not that big of a deal tho! I always seem to prey upon charity events and seem to be sucked in to perform at them which is absolutely amazing to me! I know as an artist i could lend my voice for a greater cause! Im so thankful to "accidentally" fall into these great things!

just a minute ago, grama and mom were up here talking about the issues and everything we're going through, now all alone im left to ponder it. I feel so hurt everytime we get into these kinds of situations! It's happened to my family for years. All i could do is sit back and watch everything unfold. I know that i could go change something for the extreme better but i havn't found that opening yet where i could just run for it! It's disheartening! my situation at the moment requires me to be the kid and be taken care of, many people would LOVE this especially the men that have entered our lives but i am getting sick and tired of it! time to live and grow on my own now. Time to make things happen!

school is a definite dragggggg lately. haha i've got absolutely nothing done in about 4 weeks i think. dude, i am taking care of that believe me. It's the only thing i have at the moment to keep me busy, but i absolutely hate it with a passion! I was talking with my G-ma about how she thinks im missing out on highschool... i am so over wanting to go, work, be a part of anything like that for a few years now. Im not trying to discourage anyone from not going, i just know i do not and will not go back to that anymore. Music is where is at, and i will let no one at all tell me otherwise. This month is one more day over and it seems as tho everything i was fighting for has frozen. Im really hoping that since Mirko will be back and everything he could be that other support to PUSH everything we want in one direction.

Something is missing. I have my album done, and nothing is happening. By now i think we would've had the album ready, had videos, promo, prime time, stuff like that but im stuck. By now, though, i should be writing songs like crazy... but i have nothing to work with! only have one song outta me which is "Father Figure"... lol maybe it should wait, iono... because i know that there is more to add to that song, and it's probably gonna take more than a year before my next album is done, but i must continue. Music is ME LIFE! ;] i get sidetracted all the time!!!! SHAKE THIS LOOSEEE!!!!

whoa, the weather totally changed this whole time i was writing this. Im connected to the weather! haha so gloomy outside! perfect for a song, the songs kinda like what Death Cab for Cutie, some of Paramore, Interpool (which Neen introduced me to ;]) ya know... i think the best way to discribe that really nice mood is the environment or "blue" feel you seen in the Twilight movies. lol that's the best way to discribe i think. Im in LOVE with that mood... it's pretty much indiscribable but that's exactly what i love about it! something of being alone in a sence, to think about things and stuff like that.

I am changing things this week. I've made the absolute disition. So many things need to change for me. I mean, i look heathy all the time, im showering! which is very good being that im at home all the damn time, and im actually getting dressed in the morning while having some coffee and doing my hair! GEEEZ!! completely ready for the day that isin't ready for me! aaaannnndddd IM, gonna change that. Everything needs to be n*sync! HAHA. you know what i mean. and then VERY soon enough i'll have something like this!






ya dig it?
jairemie

"light shines above me, darkness sheds to light"

the best part about waking in the wayyy AM (2:30am) is being able to come outside when everyone's asleep and sit to feel a unanticipated warm breezy wind storm-like environment. This makes me happy... to be able to be alone with this kind of weather, or these kinds of weathers i should say (i love overcast too!). this is where i get my most creative mind. Aside from not having everything i need to produce everything, im trying my best to keep it current in my head; keep it playin ya know?

This is weird... im hearing Geese in the distance...... at 2:55am? hmm lol. I also smell as if someone left a fire to burn. That campfire smell!!! LOVE iT! since when did my mood become part of the world? oh yeah and earlier me and mom were sitting outside, and i was shooting a little for the video, with a ciggy shot! ha and then i we went in but i sware i left em outside. They were in a plastic bag and i think the wind took them away ;[. So i think im gonna go to the smoke shop today haha! this time i'll get a cigar too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, anyways... you now know that i have issues with my label and obviously im not getting anywhere with that. I really wanna release everything myself, but all im hearing is blah blah blah from there about nonsence or them doudging everything! URGH. but it's this step by step thing that we're doing... it's gonna better everything. dude, i got this letter in the mail saying i would get kicked out of school if i don't "comply" consistantly within 3 months. If i get kicked out... i sware i will be out completely. But now i know i can't mess up for 3 months haha.

i've been thinking over and over about having someone in my life. I mean, just the thought of having someone? iono, i've been having dreams here and there about friends or random people i've never met who i've swore i've known forever haha. Then i wake up and find myself alone (so emo) lol no but it doesn't nessasarily effect me the way that i may thought it would. I'm just craving something TOTALLY new. as you can see i have already changed my hair ---------------------------------------------------->>

but im needing something else!!!! economy is infectious! and i hate it! i should not happen! lol ugh and today is school time and im not stoping at nothing except getting it done! i can't afford to not have school (well, yes i can) but iono i like my school computer! lol. See... just this moment i had a very nice beat in my head ready to lay down. unfortunately i have nothing to pull it out with... thus making it hard to make a song. ahh it's getting a little cold and i think im gonna go back to sleep until everyone starts waking up, cuz i can't be tired today!!

what's the opposite of relaxing on a beach in a chair under the sun,
but with the same feeling of happiness and/or relaxation?
jairemie

Ice Chamber

it speaks for itself... everything is in a standstill and is frozen. I've been getting inspired here and there to write different things for this new album. It's gonna take a long process for the most part and i know that. I'm just getting more excited on my own about the hidden work im attempting to keep secret for as long as i could... from my family and especially from everyone else ;]

i need a studio tho... and the problems with my label is that it's pretty much unavailable. Pshh, not my style. lol well i got my Cambridge notebook with all of my personal songs that im making storing or producing! im anxious to fix my computer and just get started. Every song that im coming across are giving me these greatest ideas... ranging from Rock to R&B to just other things. lol honestly the songs im letting out right now are more ballady and stuff like that. I'm a little surprized, because that's how intentionally i wanted it.

I think i could stick with piano and guitar songs for a while until everything else is falling into place. Iono, are you ready to move forward? i am, it just has to happen! anyways, on another note; i been busy figuring out what we're gonna do with this album and when it's REALLY coming!!!! i know it's gonna be next year! i mean, it's gotta be. Everything's getting arranged i guess over here. Im trying to push a video for a song off of the album for everyone to see online... then follow up with my first single!

I saw 2012 yesterday... and it's pretty intense. It kinda makes you think, but iono personally i keep wondering if i could handle everything? lol dude, DON'T think about it!!!! sdfk;jjghskxfh... i don't wanna! yeah yeah...

break the ice!
jairemie

Through The Looking Glass

things are still not moving and im seeming to be growing impatient. I have a whole bunch to write about tho... but it doesn't help that my main music computer wants to die out on me... well, the visual at least. I'm REALLY hoping everything will move forward once family gets here..... i've noticed they are my greatest strengths! i mean besides very close friends, unfortunately to name a few (Alex, Joe, KC, Sophie, Kierra, Kat, Mary, Shauntae) i mean those are the ones who i could remain in contact and skip out like 328975532 days until the next time. Iono what it is, but it's all good to me! i mean those are like- IT! my lucky 8 right? lol anyways...

yes, i am getting tired of feeling like im at the end of the school year with absolutely nothing what-so-ever to do in the middle of Fall. This ain't right! so what im doing now is building up for my next album. I have quite a few songs to lay down which i might consider that, but these new ones are heartfelt! & i just wanna make it right and meaningful. This is totally gonna be an album of what i feel at the moment and pretty deep nonetheless from ballad type songs to club hits, i wanna have it all but share the message as well. I already have the name ready. ((FP)) cannot say yet! ready ready ready to go!

but iono today im feeling refreshed! last night i had to make up my mind, and finally decided that this person in my life has got to go. I can't believe that i know better than that! it's a great relization! i kinda slept all day but i sure needed it! and i mean what else can i do since i have a problem on my hands where it involves my music!!!! URGH! but everything besides the fact, i picked my bro and sis up from school and we went out to get some coffee, on my lovely card haha.. didn't know that i was gonna be so cool about all these responsibilities, i grew up quickly.

iono... hopefully you could get the raw version of "Father Figure" i intended to use on 'FP'. It really means a lot, and hopefully i could capture everything i want to produce for it so everyone could feel the vibe and relate and stuff. But what do you call it when you're at home for large amounts of times and you really can't get out anywhere... i mean yeah it's cool to go out and pick the kids up and what not, but i REALLY want to travel and make this album bigger than it is (which the label is holding me back from). I mean, that's the main passion of mine, i wanna be able to share my music with everyone who has ears and are willing to listen, not play it over and over constantly in my own household. i am getting no where! and fast!

it's good tho that we're planning things a head and at least trying to get things done around what im obligated for i guess, which isn't really anything... but like i keep telling myself, i need to move on more and more and it will get better. It has to get better, i know that once im release from all this nonsence and i stop making nonsence for myself, it is all going to get better. but hmm, now what to do??? do homework, then watch a movie. oh geez what a life! ERR! maybe i'll go practice my performance too. haha thanx for baring with me at least and everything that is holding me back!!! that just gives me a great idea for an intense song! WHOO HOO!!!

at least i have the lazy time now to look through the looking glass to see my bright future.
jairemie